I had a friend in you

Time for a little memorial.

Here we go.

Meet Charlie.

A cute pink unicorn.

He was full of hell.

And love.

I bought him...let's say... accidentally.

I was going to a Zoo with my friend.

The queue was hella long [like, 77 miles long] and the sun was frying us,
 little human ants, like fried onions [I'd eat that now]

Sooo... I saw [you in half] a balloon merchant [sounds fabulous] across the road.

I could only see something pink from that far away, so I decided to check it out. 

So I said "We ain't going to stay in that sun, hell no" and ran for life.

My  friend just had to follow me.

 [Balloooooooooooons.

Why, OH WHY haven't I bought them all and flew away...]

Then I saw... HIM.

I knew this balloon was the one.